Flaired Out: Time To Retire

Being a legend in any field gives one a certain number of abilities. You can get free meals, gifts, respect, the love of endless fans… But of them, the worst to exploit is not knowing when to let go. Michael Jordan’s return to the NBA with the Washington Wizards was a disaster by any stretch when put side-by-side with his previous work, and were it not for the overwhelming nature of his legend, it might have been remembered as one of the worst decisions in sports. A similar situation can be found playing out right now in the world of Sports Entertainment. Last night I watched a rather bland “street fight” between Vince McMahon and Ric Flair, and it became obvious that Flair’s time is dangerously close to being up. The legend of the Nature Boy keeps him afloat, there is little doubt about that. We all WOOOOO with him and howl when he struts down the walkway or around the ring. But at one point is enough truly enough? When does the never ending flow of time bring questions to a man’s legacy? My hope is probably not a popular one – that Wrestlemania XXIV provides the stage by which Ric Flair can truly go out with a bang and go off to do whatever it is retired legends do – my guess is they go to conventions and charge you $45 to sign pictures and put you into mock figure-four leg-locks, which is a steal. Either way, there has to come a point where sanity is brought into the equation, where we realize that age has truly caught up with someone we never quite saw as mortal until that one moment and all is exposed. For me, it came during this four month “win or retire” storyline, when I was forced to accept that Ric Flair still has the physical resources to defeat a score of the WWE’s youngest and possibly strongest talents. It would figure that the best chance for Flair’s retirement comes in the hands of someone also considered a legend. Shawn Michaels is still enjoying his own perks as a legend, and while he’s certainly on top of his game, he’s spent so much time at the top of the WWE heap, it’s almost insulting that a torch cannot somehow be passed to a younger talent via a win over Flair at Wrestlemania. Instead, it’s all familiar faces, the usual tales of respect, friendship, and competition.

And let’s get something straight – I’m not making fun of Ric Flair or just parading around, flying the ignorant “Grandpa” banner here. It simply an opinion based on observations of his work and those exposed realities. Flair’s a legend, but that label isn’t a pass that never expires. Sooner or later, seeing him force guys decades younger than him to submit is going to seem as realistic as Hulk Hogan’s shotgun-powered chest poke. It is possible to ever-spend the credit on your Legend card? For that answer, I submit Rowdy Roddy Piper. He was my favorite pro wrestler as a kid, and his work in flicks like Hell Comes to Frogtown and They Live make him take a special spot in my personal hall of heroes. But at the latest Royal Rumble, he surprised me by being one of the people entering the ring. Now, aside from looking like holy hell – which is not the point because I believe an illness was involved, it was just sort of sad. No matter how you slice it, the Legend status didn’t protect him from me feeling bad about the whole situation. Pity is a good word for it. Hulk Hogan is a great example of someone who knows how to best use his status. He has remained in a position much like Stone Cold or the Rock – a state of stasis almost, where all wrestling fans can easily imagine any one these figures entering the ring once more and laying waste to anyone put before them. I believe this is because they all left at the right moments in their careers. Be it from choice or injury, we are all left remembering them at their best (not counting Hogan’s heel turns, which were just bad ideas from jump). Flair has spent up those good vibes. If he does retire and then return, let’s say, two or three years down the road, we’ll recall the guy who finallyretired years ago – maybe years after he should have. And what would he come back to do? If it were to take on the future stars of the WWE, it would look ridiculous. If it were, like Piper, to just whip up the fans, it might inspire those feelings of pity. Either way, the sweet spot of where he should have walked away is far out of reach now, and the best solution is to finally hang up the boots and enjoy those remaining perks of being a living legend. Besides, it’s not like he’ll be gone. Lord knows the WWE will involve him in useless storylines and feuds for years to come, just like how they do with Mick Foley from time to time. But this has to be it. Wrestlemania has to be the end. If not, I’ll be quiet, sit back, and pretend to WOOOOOO with the fans – there would be little else I could do…